


Dead Zir Walking

by veilsan13



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Aziraphale and Crowley in Love (Good Omens), Beelzebub is ace, Gabriel still likes to jog, High School Antics, I Am Sorry, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Lucifer is trying to look out for their sibling, Multi, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), as usual, but i love these two idiots, high school cliques, i don't know how to tag, it turned out longer than necessary, like romeo and juliet except no one dies, loosely based on the song from Heathers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 12:03:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20275609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veilsan13/pseuds/veilsan13
Summary: After that argument with Lucifer, Beelzebub really wanted to die. But better idea! Why not go spend the next night getting freaky?! Inspired by Heather's "Dead Girl Walking".





	Dead Zir Walking

**Author's Note:**

> I did a fic over the Ineffable husbands so why not the Ineffable bureaucracy? Well this happened! It might be a bit out of character but I hope you enjoy it!

“You’re dating who?” 

The voice was gravely pissed off. You could feel the anger radiating from the man as he turned to face his sibling. 

“You heard me, Lucifer. It’s Gabriel”, Beelzebub rolled their eyes. They were quite exasperated by their brother. It was just a relationship. There was absolutely no reason as to why Lucifer felt the entitlement to feel so offended by it.

Oh wait. 

Yes he did.

_ It started just a year ago. Things at home were rather harsh since their mother left them to fend on their own. Lucifer took it upon himself to create a good home for their sibling, Beelzebub. Lucifer took on a persona at a club where he decided to say “fuck you” to society’s heteronormative masculinity and danced his way to the top with the name: Satan.  _

_ So while things at home were getting better, financially speaking, Lucifer aimed to make their school life just as enjoyable. At their high school, he formed a clique with their sibling. They had met Dagon, a troublesome youth who was really excited about fish. Ligur and Hastur were a gay couple who had been shunned by the school and Lucifer took them in to be a part of the clique. They were quite nice except for whenever they passed a homophobe and especially when Ligur was insulted; Hastur gets really worked up and tries to almost kill the person, were it not for Dagon’s intervention. A few months later, they met Crowley. He was a disaster of an individual and he fit right in with their group. They were known as The Fallen and they ruled the school with an iron fist. Everything was well until another group came to rise.  _

_ Their clique consisted of Uriel, a bold individual with a good fashion taste, always donned in gold jewelry. Micheal was considered a very professional individual, always dressed sharp and hair perfectly styled. Aziraphale was a soft individual, sharply dressed with an exquisite taste for a variety of food (he had standards). The last and what became the bane of Lucifer’s existence was Gabriel, a very by-the-book young man who dressed well and played the goody two shoes role quite well. They became known as the Angels. They were all part of the student council which Lucifer deemed as their enemy. And so the rivalry was born.  _

“I can’t believe my own sibling would betray me like this! I mean, I expected it from Crowley because it was so obvious how he stared after Aziraphale but  _ you _ and for  _ Gabriel! _ Ugh”, Lucifer slumped in the chair beside him, face in his hands. 

Oh yeah. 

_ Within the year, Crowley had left the clique due to Lucifer’s dumb demands, one of which included to not talk to any of the Angels.  _

_ Which he disregarded rather highly.  _

_ Beelzebub had also heard on the grapevine that Aziraphale had also left his clique to be with Crowley. Now the two were on their own side.  _

“When did you start stabbing me in the back?” 

Beelzebub felt hurt by the venom spewing from those words. They’re not betraying their brother.

“Stop saying that Lucifer, it hurts me to hear you say stuff like that.”

Lucifer rises from the chair, kicking it to the side. “Oh, I’m sorry. Let me rephrase the question. When did you decide to get a buddy-buddy with the enemy?!”

_ They were just in class. The teacher had decided to do a pen pal type of method to get the students to talk with one another. They were all instructed to write down a username with an app that was designed for this purpose and at the end of the day, everyone should receive an email from their pen pal. Beelzebub thought it was ludicrous but oh well.  _

_ Lucifer had thought it was stupid. Beelzebub couldn’t agree more.  _

_ And like the teacher had said, at the end of the day, Beelzebub received a message from ‘Jog4Life33’. _

_ _ ** _Jog4Life33: Hi there :)_ **

** ** ** _Jog4Life33: You must be my pen pal. Nice to meet you :)_ **

_ Beelzebub had stared at their phone for a good amount of time before replying. _

_ _ ** _LordofFlies66: Hello._ **

_ They didn’t get a reply for the rest of the day. A ding awoke them from their slumber and before they can curse the world, they noticed they had a reply at exactly 4:30 am from their pen pal. _

_ _ ** _Jog4Life33: Morning! Got caught up in some stuff at school so I wasn’t able to reply sooner :( Sorry about that_ **

** ** ** _LordofFlies66: Hi. That’s alright. Want to play 20 questions?_ **

_ Their sleep was already disturbed, might as well make the most of the situation. A small bing rang in the room.  _

_ _ ** _Jog4Life33: Sure :) What’s your favorite color?_ **

_ And that was the start of the weird friendship Beelzebub didn’t know they were missing. Don’t get them wrong, they cherished Dagon, Hastur and Ligur but they felt they never really connected with them, much less Lucifer, who acted more like the mom friend, despite him being family.  _

_ Eventually, they stopped using the app and they exchanged phone numbers. Their friendship grew within the span of the next months.  _

_ A smile always grew on Beelzebub’s face whenever they saw a notification from their pen pal who they added under the contact “cool human”. Beelzebub was nicknamed ‘smol fly’ after Beelzebub confessed they were rather short.  _

_ It was a convo they had that Beelzebub may have actually fallen. In love, that is.  
_

** _ Cool human: I prefer jogging, it’s fun and invigorating. :)_ **

** ** ** _Smol fly: Ugh, no thx. I would rather die_ **

** ** ** _Cool human: :( don’t say that, I’ll miss you_ **

_ Beelzebub felt their face grow warm.  _

_ _ ** _Smol fly: whatever_ **

** ** ** _Cool human: hey! Idea! We should take a jog together! Maybe you’ll like it_ **

** ** ** _Smol fly: Over my dead body_ **

_ They didn’t receive a reply after that. Deep down, they wanted to know who this mysterious stranger was. Maybe they should ask to meet up. Maybe a jog wouldn’t be so bad. _

_ _ ** _Smol fly: On second thought, can I go with you? For a jog? It’s not that i wanna meet you, i just wanna know what the hype is >:|_ **

** ** ** _Cool human: :D Yay! Sounds like a date! How about we meet Saturday morning near the entrance of the park, 8 am since I know you like to sleep in. I’ll be wearing a gray tracksuit! _ **

_ Beelzebub had blushed. A date? Oh gosh. Well, at least they didn’t mention anything of wanting to know the other’s identity.  _

_ Another ding and their heart raced at the message.  _

_ _ ** _Cool human: and i really wanna meet you too :) I think I have a right to know who’s stolen my heart _ **

_ Beelzebub fell asleep with a smile. _

_ When the day arrived, Beelzebub snuck out the house before 8 am. Walking to the park gave them so much anxiety but at the same time, so much excitement. They couldn’t wait to meet this cool human. Looking around the park, there were barely any people up and about. Their eyes darted everywhere until they landed on a tracksuit. A gray tracksuit. The young man was tall with brown ruffled hair, it looked like he was stretching. Just when they were going to approach their pal, when the young man turned to look around the park, Beelzebub was shocked to see it was Gabriel. It was fucking Gabriel.  _

_ Oh gosh. It looks like they haven’t been noticed. If they leave now-  _

_ The inner turmoil was interrupted with their phone ringing obnoxiously to the song, “Do Re Mi” after Gabriel had confessed it was one of his guilty pleasures.  _

_ Gabriel made eye contact with Beelzebub, his mouth agape. This was getting too close for comfort. So they ran. They didn’t expect for Gabriel to follow after them.  _

_ When Gabriel finally caught up, he pulled them into a hug. Beelzebub didn’t try to fight it. They didn’t know how to feel.  _

_ “Beez. I’m going to put you down. Don’t run, please”, he said as he let them go, slowly. Beelzebub could have run but decided not to. They turned to meet their apparent crush’s identity. Gabriel gave them an awkward smile.  _

_ “Hi there, small fly.” That elicited a smile from Beelzebub who despite their best efforts, smiled in return. _

_ And that was the start of their relationship. They had dates on the weekends in secret. If either clique found out, hell would break loose.  _

_ But enough time passed that Beelzebub decided to tell Lucifer.  _

Which brings us to the present.

“Gabriel was your pen pal? Since then, you’ve been talking to that asshole?”, Lucifer hissed at the sibling. “And you’ve been doing this behind my back? You know how hard I try to make sure everything is right at home? I work my ass off to make sure we’re good? Is this how you repay me?”

“Bee, what if he’s trying to hurt you to get to me? Have you thought of that? Maybe he’s just using you?”

The words hurt them and it’s evident. 

“He wouldn’t do that”, their voice is small and meek. 

“Oh, let me guess. Because he  _ loves  _ you?”, Lucifer made an imitating enamored expression. “Oh, please. He’s a liar, his whole lot as well.”

Beelzebub was not expecting for Lucifer to be  _ this  _ angry. Pissed off, yeah. But this mad, this betrayed? 

“So those times you said you were with Dagon, you were with  _ him _ ?”

The younger sibling nodded. 

A scoff was heard. “You’re not even my sibling at this point. You have been lying to me this whole damn time.”

“Get lost Bee. I don’t even want to see you. You’re not family anymore”, the expression worn by Lucifer made Beelzebub’s own feelings pour out their eyes. Not wanting to listen to their brother, they ran out the door, into the dead of night. Lucifer held a hard stare after the door before falling to the floor, tears streaming down his face and hand in hair, scrunching up in distress. 

As they walked down the street, Beelzebub could not think of what the other members of their group would think. Would they feel the same way? Lucifer might as well as kicked them out. When Monday comes around, they’ll probably be shut away from the clique. They’ll be alone. 

What else can they do? They really want to forget this whole event.

Maybe they should run away. Run away uptown or anywhere away from this bullshit. Wait. That’s it! Run!

If they were going to be basically thrown away, they might as well have some fun. 

Finding where Gabriel was rather easy. After all, it wasn’t the first time they had been over at his house. Climbing the wall and slowly opening the window was also easy. Gabriel didn’t believe in locking windows tight. Good thing he held that philosophy. 

Jumping in the room, Gabriel was easily awakened by the noise. “Beez? Is that you?”

Beelzebub hushed him. “Sorry I had to wake you but there has been a change of plans. Luci says I gots to go, you're my last meal on death row”, they winked at him and climbed on top of the flustered high schooler. 

“Wait, what happened?”, Gabriel asked, sitting up, Beelzebub now in his lap. 

“I told Luci about us. And he basically disowned me. It’s only a matter of time I’m deleted from high school as well. He’ll send me away, I just know it”, Beelzebub gently caressed Gabriel’s hair. 

“So tonight I’m yours.” And with that, pulled Gabriel’s collar to meet their lips. While a bit caught off guard, Gabriel reciprocated, pulling Beez closer to him. 

When they parted, Beezlebub gestured for Gabriel to remove their shirt while they laid kisses on the latter’s neck, eliciting small sighs. 

With all his strength, Gabriel took hold of Beelebub and pulled them away for a moment. 

“Beez, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yeah, I thought the kissing was obvious. You’re sure dimmer than you proclaim”, Beelzebub then tried to continue to which Gabriel held them back. 

“Beez, you’re ace, aren’t you? I don’t think you want this”, Gabriel spoke, almost a whisper. 

“You...don’t want me?” Beelzebub felt used. Maybe Lucifer was right. 

“Oh no, no. You know, It's 'cause you're beautiful”, Gabriel held their eyes and he gently laid his hand on their cheek. “You say you're numb inside but I can't agree, Beez. I know Lucifer is being unfair right now but let’s keep that locked out there. In here, you’re okay.”

Softly, Gabriel laid a chaste kiss on their lips to which they smiled through it. “Thank you. Can we cuddle then?”, the smaller one asked, once parted. 

Gabriel nodded and opened the covers for them to jump in. 

“If it makes you feel better, stay here for the weekend. We’ll talk to Lucifer together when Monday comes.” Big hands found small hands and they linked together. “I’ll even step away from being student council president if it means we can be together. I’ll make sure my friends feel the same way.”

That night, the two fell asleep, curled up together. 

When Monday did roll around, Gabriel linked hands with Beelzebub as they entered the school. Small gasps and eyes followed this and soon, the news spread like wildfire. 

Walking to the usual hangout spot of The Fallen felt strangely peaceful, maybe it was because of Gabriel by their side. A reassuring squeeze was felt by their hand. 

When they finally reached the table, Lucifer was sitting on top of it, sunglasses on. Dagon sat to the side and Hastur and Ligur stood next to open space next to Dagon.

“Well, well, well. Look who decided to drop in. The little traitor and their boyfriend. What do you want?”, Lucifer asked, lazily. 

“Lucifer, I feel this little rivalry should stop. I only want the best for Beez”, Gabriel started but was interrupted to a pair of sunglasses being thrown at him.

“The best for Bee? Fuck you. I’m their brother, and I know damn well what is best for them”, he spoke angrily. “I make sure they have everything they need.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. “You’re not their mother. You need to be their brother.”

Lucifer scoffed. “I’m well aware of that fact.”

“Luci. I’m not mom either. I’m not going to leave you. I know why mom left. She found something better so she left”, Beelzebub began. They walked towards their brother whose eyes have softened. “I’m not going to leave you. I just want to be happy too.” 

“Come on, Satan. You’re much better than this.” Beelzebub gave them a smile before Lucifer let out a laugh. 

“What did I say about using my drag name outside of work?”

Beelzebub opened their arms. “Awkward sibling hug?” Lucifer rolled his eyes but obliged. 

“Awkward sibling hug.” 

After that, Gabriel, as student council president, declared that all cliques be broken up. Instead, he offered plans to help everyone to be more amicable around one another. Once this was settled, the Fallen had given Gabriel the shovel talk to which he was not frightened at all. Aziraphale and Crowley gave them their blessing. Beelzebub had not felt this happy since their birthday. As they stared at their official boyfriend, their heart buzzed with joy.

Maybe high school won’t be so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> It was going to be shorter but then I let myself just write hah  
Hope y'all liked the fic! I genuinely love these two together! <3  
Leave a kudos and a comment! They make me want to write more!


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